You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
