My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
