She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
