Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
