I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
