Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
