my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize