happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
handjob tips. give me some.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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