If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
