ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
