my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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