Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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