I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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