Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you win again, gameday.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
