im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
