Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
