your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
