Can Purell be used as lube?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
