I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My vagina is very pro this idea
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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