What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
