he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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