Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
