I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
