Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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