I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
