I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
