i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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