ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
