Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
