Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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