That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So much rum. So many feels.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
