I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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