btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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