Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
