I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
