My cat gives me a boner
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
