You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
