If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
