Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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