Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
