i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
