go do what you do best...puke behind churches
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You ruined the universe
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
