My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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