What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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