i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
