Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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