I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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