Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
