I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
