There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize