My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize