the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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