this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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