PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize