Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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