I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize