Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He felt like a one man threesome
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
