I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
