You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Pappa wants mamma naked
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
