My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
