I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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