Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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