found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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