This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
