just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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