Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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