I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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