You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My vagina is very pro this idea
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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