does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
did you just send me my own nude
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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