I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
