anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
