why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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