420 ftw
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
