its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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