You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
