Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
