we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
