I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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