I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
