So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
